Betrayal in a marriage is a deeply painful and complex experience that can have significant emotional, psychological, and sometimes even physical consequences for both partners involved. Betrayal can take various forms, such as infidelity, dishonesty, financial betrayal, emotional neglect, or breaking of trust in any other way.
Regardless of the cause, unfaithfulness or dishonesty can bring about a variety of complicated emotions. Coping with betrayal in a marriage is challenging, but it is possible to work through the pain and, in some cases, rebuild the relationship.
Common Emotions Associated with Betrayal
Trust is a fundamental element in creating healthy relationships, which is why dishonesty may place your relationship in an immediate state of crisis. If you are the betrayed partner just learning of a betrayal in your relationship, things may feel chaotic at first. You may be experiencing:
- Intense feelings of hurt, confusion, and anger
- Emotional outbursts or reactions
- Difficulty with concentration
- Ruminating thoughts of what happened
- Frantic thoughts of deciding whether to stay or go
- Looking for answers and not knowing where to turn for support
It can take time to navigate the complexity of your emotions. Your relationship has changed, and it is normal to experience grief.
What Comes Next?
1. Make sure you are safe, physically & emotionally
While it can be disorienting to find your way through the emotions associated with betrayal, your safety should be your first priority. Giveyourself time and space away from the situation to help you focus on yourself and your emotions. Navigating these situations is never easy, but stepping back will give both partners time to reflect and process before making grander decisions.
2. Slow down and breathe
Betrayal in a relationship can lead some to want to take immediate action. It can be difficult, but it is essential to slow down and take it one day at a time. Taking a walk, practicing meditation, or breathing exercises are a few helpful methods to recenter your focus.
Because maintaining your usual routine may also become a bit challenging, it is important to rest and stay hydrated. Intense emotions can cause feelings of nausea or lack of appetite, so you might find it beneficial to eat smaller meals throughout the day.
This time is yours to focus on you.
3. Refrain from making decisions to stay or go
It can be difficult, but it is essential to give yourself time to process your emotions before making decisions. The intensity of the emotions associated with betrayal in a relationship causes many to feel the immediate pressure to take action. However, making a choice of that magnitude while emotions are high may cause regrets. Waiting until you are in a better headspace can lead to a more amicable resolution.
4. Seek counseling for yourself
Seeking professional support is always a good option. Speaking to a therapist allows you to process your emotions with guided support. Boundary Houses’ individual counseling provides a space for you to communicate and cope.
Schedule an appointment with us today to get started on your journey.
5. Seek couples counseling or coaching to facilitate honest communication & next steps for the relationship
As Relationship Coaches at Boundary Houses, we believe that establishing and/or re-establishing couple boundaries is essential to the health and well-being of a relationship. A betrayal in a relationship likely involves one or both partners stepping out of the sacredness of their primary relationship, emotionally or physically, or inviting someone into that space without their partner’s input. This can be healed if both partners are committed to doing the work necessary for healing and rebuilding.
Remember that every marriage and situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with betrayal. Professional help can provide tailored guidance and support based on your specific circumstances. Our unique approach to Couples Coaching allows for couple-to-couple sharing and guidance.
Book a Free Consultation for Couples Coaching with Jamie and Jill Gillies.